Break Free

It's amazing how much we don't believe in ourselves. And how scared we are to fail. Always looking for approval. What other people think plays such a big part in so many of our lives. But should their opinions really matter? I say no. As long as you are doing what you love to do then seek only God's approval.

Break Free

 

It’s been so many years

For me to work up my nerves

To spit out my words

For the people to hear

Because I was too scared

To let my thoughts run free

Thinking everybody

Was going to judge me

For being me

But now my confidence flows strong

Because it’s been locked up so long

Trying to figure out what’s been wrong

Why was my brain so gone

Into a false perception

Of the wrong direction

Not allowing me to manifest and

Lose out on my blessings

But now I hope the world is ready

Because my hand is now steady

My heart is no longer heavy

And my voice is just begging me

To stand in front of the crowd

So it can blare out loud

A new distinct sound

No longer to be bound

Let everyone see

Then manifestations of God and me

No longer a mystery

We’ll go ahead and put this in history

But

Have you ever been confused about someone, or maybe they were confused about you. With every good there is a bad. The question is how much are you willing to tolerate?

But

 

He said he loves my spirit

But he can’t stand my soul

Why my eyes so bright

But my heart so cold

Why my voice so sweet

But my tongue so sharp

Why my skin so soft

But my touch like darts

 

He said he misses my smile

But he can’t stand my bite

Why my mind so clear

But my thoughts aint right

Why do I bring a glare

But still dim the lights

Why do I brighten up the day

But still darken up the nights

 

He said he love my future

But he can’t stand my past

Why do I come in first

But still end up last

Why do I take it slow

But still move so fast

Why do I chase the flight

But always seem to crash

 

He said he misses my love

But he can’t stand my pain

Why do I take the shelter

But still feel the rain

Why do I quit my habits

But still stick it in my veins

Why do I change my ways

But still do the same things

 

 

 

Again

Mistakes are a part of life. There is no way around them, but I do feel they make you a better person. If you never fail how will you know what winning feels like. Sometimes you have to make the same mistake over and over until you can finally correct it. And even though you do, who is to say you will never do it again.

Again

 

Here I go again

Am I back at the same twisted situation again

I was supposed to learn from my mistakes again

But it seems I keep walking through the devil’s revolving door of sin

So here I am dropping to my knees again

Because I keep repeating the same things over and over again

Thinking to myself when will it be my time to win

When will it be my time to shine

Like the sun brightens up the sky

When it will it brighten up my life

That’s been dulled by heartache again

That’s been dulled by stressing again

That’s been dulled by being stomped down in the dirt that I’m gonna be buried in again

When will I erase this hate that’s been over taking my soul

I feel like I’m losing control of my flesh

And my spirit can’t seem to catch it

To try to talk some sense into it

To tell it to stop what it’s doing again

To tell it please don’t ruin it for us again

Making me have to pursue him for us again

But I’m only human

And I can never be satisfied

Not in even my wildest dreams

Even the biggest stars claim crack as their king

Instead of claiming G O D

J E S U S

The more I stray away

The more I’m gonna have to confess

On how I cheated again

And how I mistreated them again

And how I put the knife to my wrist saying I’m leaving here again

But yet I’m still here

Still breathing this polluted air

Still drinking this polluted water

Still hustling for dollars but the only thing that fills my pockets are quarters

So now I’m back to selling that dope again

And back to riding that pole again

And now I’m back to looking at the heavens because my faith reappeared and gave me hope again

I guess it’s time I put more focus in

To me, and not to what his homeboy said

To me, and not to what his baby mama said

To me, and not to what my heart said

Because it was my heart that got me in trouble again

It was my heart that made me say I love you again

It was my heart that wanted so much of his attention that he walked out of my life again

And now I’m back at this same twisted situation again

Trying to learn from my mistakes again

But it seems I keep walking through the devil’s revolving door of sin

Spinning me around like the wheel of fortune

More like the wheel of misfortune

Cause now my house is back in foreclosure again

And my car is about to be repo’d again

And I don’t understand why I had to pawn my jewelry again.

And I can’t even cry because my tear ducts are dried up

Can’t eat because my insides are all twisted and knotted

Panty liners on every day because I can’t stop spotting

Because I’m stressing again

Trying to make something manifest again

Reaching out for a blessing again

Pressing against this same old twisted situation again.

I Am A Woman

No one word can describe a Woman.

I Am A Woman

 

I am the result of an extraction

Subtracted from him to create me

I am a woman

Built to perfection with every single curve

I am worth every look, every glance

Trying to figure out how I got into these jeans

Well I am a woman

Child bearing hips will not stop me

From displaying my true beauty

I consist of noticeable scars

Stretch marks like sunrays

Unwanted monthly pain

A reminder that wrong choices were made prior to me

I am a woman

Sensitive, emotional, strong

I rise to the challenge

Molded customly, baked to satisfaction

Unique

Sometimes I don’t know if I want to be straight or curly

I define my hair

I am not always prepared

I let down my guard sometimes

Naïve in my heart sometimes

Don’t want to believe what I see so I act blind sometimes

But that’s all part of being a woman

I make mistakes

Able to embrace for impacts I’m not sure I can handle

But I don’t back down

I stand my ground

Feet planted, chest proud

But whatever comes my way better watch out

Because when God created me

He created a fighter, a soldier, a warrior

Not easily defeated

Combat in my eyes

Struggle under my feet

A gladiator at heart

And every day it beats I becomes stronger

But, I don’t always understand me

Capable of withstanding dangers unseen

Devils in disguise

But yet I continue to maintain me

Far from weak, but I still cry

I have a hard time opening jars

And I can’t tell you every part of a car

And sometimes my life just seems so hard

But I am a woman

Reinforced backbone

Every vertebra able to endure the constant pressure

Attacks, stress, strains, weight

And in exchange I am able to claim the most esteemed titles

Mother, sister, wife, daughter

Never falling short of my expectations

Though I may stumble at times

I keep my balance

I strive forward

I push harder

I give every part of me

Even to those who don’t even deserve it

I am a woman

A provider, a lover, a leader

I sacrifice, I compromise, I improvise

And I serve

Not always given everything that I deserve

But I am still a woman

 

 

 

 

Nakesha Graves

 

Destiny

Commitment is scary. Not everybody is ready to commit, but they still want to be involved in actions that lead to that very word. Thinking that they are invincible, and then realizing that they are not. Running away from commitment happens on a daily, but you have to understand that you are not the only one being affected when you run.

Destiny

 

I took one step

Didn’t even notice the oncoming traffic

Didn’t think I’d be hit with the fact that I was pregnant

And he, he was my kryptonite

Who knew his green glow could pull so much out of me

It pulled out my standards, my principles, my quality of life

Every encounter stripped me slowly until I gave in

I submitted to the manipulation

All of my insecurities revealed

And he wrapped them in his blanket

Stroked them so gently and made me believe he was their savior

He would deliver them from me

And I would be able to stand tall without looking back

When all along he was just inching his way into position

Confident steps of persistence

And soft strokes of his hand broke down my barriers

Said he would stand guard and relieve me of my defenses

I was putty in his hands

He molded me, he shaped me, he created me

His very own masterpiece

I was flawless in his eyes

Until that day

Who knew a positive would cause a disaster

A responsibility appears and his kryptonite flees

No longer wanting to be connected with me

I was now a burden, a weight on his back, cement in his shoes

Threatening to keep him grounded

A ball and chain equipped with scissors ready to clip his wings

And now he wants to throw in how the strings were never really attached

Retracting all that we had

Erasing memories from the past

And detouring onto a new path without me, without us

Who knew that something that took two to create

Could be blamed on one

Yes my legs were open but you also had to cum

So there was a happy medium

You just didn’t like the end game

And it’s taking so much for me to refrain

From what I really want to say

But I will and can do it without you

You breached my foundation but I will rebuild

Level by level, brick by brick, reinforced with steel

Protecting the two things you decided to give up

Because you are scared of commitment

And resentment is just not in me

I forgive you and will guard what you implanted in me with my life

In the end you will be the one paying the true price

Not talking money

Talking love, first words, first steps, endless hugs

And you will regret ever leaving the family you helped create

I hope it was worth the pain you inflicted

And the code you encrypted on my heart

Did take some time to crack

But I was able to dig deep and guide it out through my veins

Through my sweat through my tears

I overcame the pressure I was engulfed in

That you made me soak in

And I never thought I would be dry

But I’m dehydrated, you evaporated out of my system

Don’t even remember what I was missing

And now I have a new reason for living

And her name is

Aniyah Destiny Brown

Effort

Point blank,   We give up too easy. We don't try hard enough. We want everything to be smooth sailing. When in reality it is going to be more like a roller coaster. The easy route is not always the best route. If you say you love someone, and you truly mean it, Why not put forth a little effort to keep them?

Effort

 

Something is missing

I can’t quite put my finger on it

It seems to be too fast for the touch

Too small for the eye

And I have been racking my brain trying to figure this out

We both lack effort

Our life is in a standstill

Brakes glued to the floor

No reverse, no drive

Until we can understand the others intentions

Too many interventions

And we lost our grips, fingertips slipped

And our love started falling away from each other

Not sure if it will ever recover

Critical condition

Tubes of doubt shoved into our bodies

And we exhale slow short breaths

Can’t seem to regain that rhythm in our chest

It used to be simultaneous

And now we’re blaming us

A joint effort of destruction

So full of assumption

Was this really all for nothing

Do we give up or try

Rebirth or die

Do we put our seatbelt on and sit back for the ride

What is it gonna take

Relive our mistake

Or embrace our shortcomings

We are supposed to forgive and forget

But it seems we’re stuck on replay

Rewinding the string that started the unraveling in the first place

All these years, now considered and endangered species

One thread out of place produces the biggest consequence

Abandoning ship

Too many waves and now we’re sea sick

No life jackets

We’d rather drown alone

Than fight the storm together

Always pursuing the worst when we can do so much better

If we try

But somebody’s got to make the first move

It shouldn’t require flipping a coin

Heads or tails shouldn’t determine whose love is true

There’s got to be more evidence, more proof

That this love is worth a fighting chance

We need to both be in a fighting stance

Because we just can’t drop the ball over lack of effort

Let our arms give out

Feeling like we are in the test of time

And we didn’t even study

Didn’t even glance at the notes

And now we’re straddling the fence in an all she wrote situation

Like what’s the use of praying if we’re not willing to put in the work

Give the other what they deserve

Too concerned about the water under the bridge, we don’t want to cross it

So we can’t focus on the bigger picture

Blurred by one incident

Not scared to fail, but scared to succeed

A different kind of feeling you never felt

So unreachable in your mind that you sabotage yourself

Already wrote each other off

Now who’s left to help

So why don’t we pick up these pieces side by side

One conversation at a time

And start reliving our lives

All it takes is a little effort

 

 

 

 

Nakesha Graves